Opposable Thumbs for the Win

Yesterday we decided to spend the day going to Cape Point/Cape of Good Hope. While the Cape itself consisted of picturesque landscapes and coastlines (along with a wee bit of historical intrigue), the real adventure took place on the journey there, just outside the park. Rolling in our newly-rented A-class Benz (we had to trade in the Hyundai), Mike, Will, Tara, and I busily bantered on about the usual nothing when we spotted a line of cars stopped in the middle of the road. Not knowing what to expect we pulled up and saw, camped out in the middle of the street, a baboon rummaging through a backpack. Our curiosity tickled, we pulled over and joined the crowd of onlookers viewing the spectacle. To my right I noticed a mama baboon nursing a small baby, on my left two baboons playfully chasing and slapping each other. We had found ourselves in the middle of a pack of monkeys.

Inquiring into why the baboon had taken such interest in the backpack, a fellow American told me they had pulled over because they saw baboons on the side of the road and wanted to get a better look. As they were distracted by an “adorable” baby, a crafty older one opened the door of their van and climbed into the passenger seat. After rummaging around a bit he found the backpack, climbed outside, and set up camp in the middle of the highway. There he proceeded to tear apart this poor kid’s bag in search of food. Textbooks, papers, and headphones laid sprawled around this solitary monkey.

Just as he began to tear into an orange, I heard an audible, “Uh oh!” from behind me. Will had spotted a large baboon sprawled out on our windshield. I immediately checked to make sure the doors were locked. Thank God they were. Unfortunately, just as Will was taking pictures of our new monkey friend, he realized the back right window was open. At that moment, Mr. Baboon must have noticed too, because he crawled along the side of the car and slipped right in. By this time, many onlookers had grown bored with the backpack scandal and our car was now the focus of attention.

Once inside our rented Mercedes Benz, the baboon needed no instruction. He proceeded to rip through the interior in search of something to consume. He must have tried to open the door because the alarm system was set off (only to aggravate him more). Eventually someone opened up the passenger door which allowed him to climb out. Unfortunately, another monkey saw this trick and immediately replicated it (one point for evolution). This time the door was left open and more monkeys started climbing inside. At one point there must have been four baboons scrambling around inside the car. Luckily for us we didn’t have much food, only a sandwich and some empty Coke cans. That being the case, they still didn’t seem all that interested in suppressing the level of damage to the car. Overcoming my fear of a rabies-induced premature flight home I threw open the trunk and quickly backed away. There was now nothing left to do. The ball was in their court, er, car. After what seemed like minutes, one by one, each monkey crawled out and went on its way. As soon as they were a safe distance away we ran to the car, locked ourselves inside (windows up), and drove away.

The damage is as follows (luckily we have full insurance on the car…sorry Avis):

1. Dirt/hair/monkey feces all over the upholstery
2. Claw marks on the ceiling/back of the seats
3. Sandwich eaten
4. Coke cans/cookie wrappers disappeared
5. Will’s anti-diarrhea medicine: child-proof container ripped open, only two pills remained. I don’t know what’s worse, that somewhere there’s a recently-fed constipated monkey out in the wild or that Will now only has two pills to last the rest of the trip.
6. Paw-marks all over the windshield
7. Right side-view mirror dangling (from when the first one climbed across to the open window)

That’s basically the end of the monkey disaster. We saw a few more wild baboons throughout the day but refused to pull over. We learned our lesson.