The Amerikaaner

Yesterday night we threw arguably the largest and most epic 3^rd of July Party ever experienced by the Garden Center Apartments. While most patriotic Americans choose the 4^th to celebrate our breaking of ties with Britain, we thought it fitting to celebrate on the 3^rd to commemorate the greatest All-Nighter in history. That’s right, Thomas Jefferson hopped up on Red Bull and Cheetos to cram out the Declaration of Independence in time for the 4^th of July deadline. As we found out, hiring kegs in South Africa is quite the ordeal and (from the crowd of locals drawn to our gathering) most likely doesn’t happen all that often. I am reminded of Ron Burgundy’s conversation with his buddies Champ and Brick after the famous news-anchor battle of San Diego, “Boy, that escalated quickly…I mean, that really got out of hand fast.” Not much photographic evidence remains of the night, which may or may not be a good thing. Email me if you want stories.